Was at the store today when I noticed lots of people running about outside. On the sidewalks, and they were keeping up a pretty good pace too. This continued all day with people running about. One of them came in breathing pretty heavily, and I asked him why everybody was making such haste. He said "No I'm Slovakian, but it's a common mistake." He bought a can of drink and went out, then another person came in, this time it was an elderly gentleman with quite a strong accent. I figured, now this guy isn't in such a rush, I wonder if he'll tell me why the others out there are rushing. I remember he stopped for a while and looked at me (he had quite bushy eyebrows, that's all I remember), and then he said thoughtfully, "Well, I suppose they can't help it, blame their parents."
Now by this time I was stacking sodas and wondering why the parents of Sparrow Falls were so hard on their kids. Tradition, maybe, or an excessive enthusiasm for health and athleticism? I was never big on athleticism myself, and thought to myself that I would have to thank my Mom and Dad when I called them next for being such great parents.
Now during my break I decided to go outside and see if I could nab one of the runners, and ask him what on earth they were all doing. So I nabbed one (not literally), and I asked him, pardon my curiosity, but WHY ARE YOU IN SUCH A HURRY? He said it's not just me, everybody's Russian.
I went back inside and said to Des, I'm afraid I have no blood of the sort everybody has here, is there some kind of heritage in Sparrow Falls? I asked him, ARE YOU RUSSIAN TOO? He said no but I'm planning to be next month.
So there you have it, EVERYBODY'S RUSSIAN.