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Misadventures of Livi Paige title image

misadventures of livi paige

PAIGE 19 - THE UM OF UMNESS

I totally didn't forget his name. I mean, Des (the owner) had been telling me he was coming all day long from whatsit, and that he was an earl or a duke or something I can't actually remember now. I'll call him the um of umness. So Des was telling me his name, and make sure you take good care of him, as you do the other customers, and all, and then he told me what his name was. I said to myself, ok I'll look for this guy dressed in this way, and remember to call him this name. Ok, alright, got it. Now, he's the um of umness, don't forget that he's an um and he's from umness. Totally got this. So he came into the shop, and I said to myself I can do this, just greet him like Des said. Then when he came I realized I focused so much on remembering what he was and where he came from that I forgot his name. But it's alright, focus focus Livi, what's his name. Then I realized I forgot the um and the umness.

I am very good at introducing people as human beings though, like I am at answering that question "what do you want to be when you grow up?" Actually I think my answer is the same as Mary's.

I want to be a human.

Just haven't been able to concentrate all week, don't know. Then I went home, and A SPIDER BIT ME! The same spider I bet I didn't kill when I first moved in, and it waited all this time to bite me. Since I don't like wearing shoes, I have changed the fragrance in my house to EAU DE RAID. That is now the official scent of summer, in case any of you are wondering. Also, I wrote a haiku.

Spiders have eight legs.
They like to scurry about.
Unless they are dead.

- Livi