website of Clarke D. Emervane


novel | 2017 | 192 pages

The adventures of a slightly overconfident man, as told by a slightly underwhelmed first person omniscient narrator.

"Ah, then this next matter I must bring to you: I am a priest of Athena, as it is; a priest of wisdom. Now, I do not mean to look down on your gods and all, but you should know that I have great knowledge of earthly things. Your fear of music, though undoubtedly well-grounded in folklore, is but a series of vibrations that makes the ear canal wobble and therefore produce sound. Therefore you need have no fear of the gods." The Captain at once breaks into a spontaneous fit of laughing alongside Argyros, muttering something which Bisnick deftly picks up as "circular seasoning." To which, the king answers the Captain's remark by listing peppercorns and coriander seeds as spices which fit the description. At which, more gladmaking ensues, and Bisnick now joins the fray, entirely glad to see the jocundity of his workers. The happiness slowly stills, and he resumes his speech. "Yes, but back to the question, old chap: how are the arms of the king?" "Dressed in royal colors, I should say!" the Captain says, and both he and Argyros roar."

There is a man who has tamed lions the size of the sun with the might of his fists. His name is Bisnick von Quince. Hailing from his highly advanced motherland, he has set his eyes on kingship of the Aegean, and all that lives in it. Setting sail on a raft made of forty-nine planks, what ensues is a farcical tale of adventure over, in, and under the Greek isles.

The download comes with this novel, a wallpaper, and music for the spontaneous song that happens in the novel, so you can sing along. Enjoy.

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